


Tell me why....

by SoulKeeperJV



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Deputy Bennett, F/F, Freakytits - Freeform, Governor Ferguson - Freeform, Love is love. Governor and Deputy. They should be together., Pinot, Smut implied and hopefully more smut on the way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:19:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29241216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulKeeperJV/pseuds/SoulKeeperJV
Summary: I have not posted in a long time, but I felt a little brave today. I have been working on this for a while. I hope you enjoy it.
Relationships: Joan Ferguson/Jianna Riley, Vera Bennett/Joan Ferguson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

There is no substitute for empathy. It’s a fundamental relationship between human beings. These are my thoughts that choose to invade my mind this Thursday afternoon after a shift. As I walk out of Wentworth, the place I used ache to be is the very place I now ache to leave. Outside of these walls...these gates....I let my heart lead me....where I long to be....where I belong...home.

My mind performs logically and practically...when I drive...I focus on the road...the traffic...the stop lights....but today...on auto pilot....my mind chooses to reminisce....to remember....my mind decided to have a debrief with my heart...when the two come together it’s always the same subject....My Vera. I laugh inside how someone so small had the ability to cause such havoc in my being....in my life. It’s was easy to communicate sexually....but she took it a step further....she wanted to communicate Psychologically.....it wasn’t enough as she didn’t stop there....she challenged me....she wanted to communicate....emotionally. She did not allow me to dismiss her...wants.....how is someone so small...so forceful....is it force when deep inside it’s what you didn’t know was necessary for your own self . My first thought was how we began. It was anything but conventional. We had sex in my office. For weeks...fucking...in my office...the plant room....the boiler room....late at night...after the count....mostly in my office. I thought we were enjoying ourselves. I pushed down my own increased need for her after we were done....I said nothing to her about how my cunt still throbbed hours after she made me come with her fingers inside me...I didn’t tell her I still felt the thrill of her lips pressed against mine long after we both went our separate ways leaving the prison. Or the burn from the bite marks she dared to leave as she became more eager for me....how they lingered for days....how every time it rubbed against an article of clothing I thought of her....she isn’t aware I need nothing to be reminded of her. She had already claimed my thoughts from the moment I woke up until the moment I closed my eyes with the day’s end. She had no idea what she had done. 

Until one day she entered my office....another late....debrief. I’m always happy to see her...I felt myself aching for her....but she must never know about this weakness. She closed the door behind her like she usually does....but she stood still with her hands clasped behind her back...her demeanor was different....her face....militant edge....seemed nervous....hurt....I do not respond to these...emotions....I barely recognize them. But for reasons unbeknownst to me....I saw it in her that night....but I didn’t ask. I dismissed it...Shel’ll feel better after I fuck her. She always does....I know I always do.

I proceeded in our routine as I remained in my chair. 

“Come here, Vera”

Her response after was one she had never said to me before....one not many dare say to me.

“No” she stated.

“No!?” I scoffed.

I waited....I don’t have patience....but for her...I waited. She too seemed expectant...waiting for an emotion. I said nothing...she spoke again.

“I want more.....with you. I need more....from you. I deserve it. I deserve more than just allowing you fuck me all over this prison. As much as I enjoy us having sex....I need to know you care beyond that”

She took to my mentoring. I trained her well. I saw it and heard it in her tone tonight. She was right. She deserves more....we both do. I want more. But I am not good at this. I thought she understood this. Think. Think. Think. What to do. I was taking too long to respond....as she spoke again...she unclasped her hands and took a few steps toward my desk.

“Say something” she demanded.

I felt my lips part open but not a word escaped . I was proud of her but taken back by her boldness. I wanted to stand up, walk to her....take her in my arms and kiss her passionately....tell her I want to give her everything she ask for but I still said nothing.

“Damn it Joan, say something” my eyes followed as she leaned forward and slammed her hands down on my desk. I felt my lips twitch as she raised her voice at me.

“Please, Joan” she pleaded as her eyes soften.

I stood up, straighten my jacket....walked over and looked at her...I lifted my chin...my pride and ego always reigns. It’s out of my control... so I answer her as she stands up to face me.

“Is this a joke?”

I looked over her face. I knew I shouldn’t have said that. Her eyebrows furrowed....I saw the glaze forming into tears as she looked at me disappointedly.

“Is this a joke....that’s all you have to say....that’s your response. Why...”

She scoffed...shook her head...charged out of my office and slammed the door. I just stood there. Instantly feeling the air grow colder....and how my body reacts to the loss the same way it always does when she leaves a room. I stood there and all I could hear are the words I should have said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome or welcome back!  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter:)  
> I look forward to hearing your thoughts and feedback! 
> 
> *Please note...possible trigger...lynching is mentioned*

I know I should have went after her....stopped her and tell her what she does to me. What she makes me....feel. I don’t chase after anyone....it’s beneath me. But it’s her, my Vera. I walked back to my chair....my throne....think...think....think....I am aware I lost a love once....my only love thus far....she was taken from me....no warning....One day she was there and the next she was gone....there was nothing I could do when I found her that night....hanging lifeless like a rag doll....the pain was crippling.....I still feel it after all these years....All I have left of her is her prisoner file....it resides in a draw on my right....a bloody file is all that remains of the woman I loved after she left me. Now, Vera decided to walk out and leave me....I could allow the seconds to turn into minutes....into days...weeks. Letting her realize how ridiculous her behavior is. No one walks away from me...at least that’s what I told myself when I started to gather my things and left the prison that night. 

As I started to walk out...I realized I don’t know her address....the new home after her mother died and she moved. With my annoyance displayed I walked back into my office....looked into her employee file and made a note of her address. I was starting to see what she meant, she deserved more. Once again I left and finally made it to my car.

As I drove, I thought how dare she walk away from me. How dare she take away the one thing now that gives me a purpose....a purpose that doesn’t include planning for years to get revenge for my dead lover, my Jiana. But now, my Vera had given me a purpose that included hope, pleasure and a reason to laugh and not feel guilty as much. She has no idea how much she holds ....I did a good job of keeping my mask in tact with emotions. Too good of a job. 

I am a master of formulating plans but right now I didn’t have a plan. As I drove to her home....I needed to think. Ahh....dinner....I’ll bring her dinner. I realized I don’t know her favorite foods or cuisine. For the second time tonight I realized what she meant....what she wants. She wants more from me....she wants me to know what’s her favorite meal is and not only how right before I make her come she starts to swear....her obscenities arouse me....the way she she closes her eyes right before....breathing into me....grabbing onto my shoulders....repeating the word fuck...or when she calls my name....begging to come....in those moments I won’t allow her to want for anything....my fingers thrust more forcefully inside her....I never stop until I know she’s spent....until I’m certain she’s given me everything. I know the taste of her mouth....the scent of her excitement....I know the taste between her legs....how it changes right before she comes inside my mouth....I live for it. I suppose I should know her favorite meal. My deputy is right, she surly deserves more. 

I recall she has mentioned a place she frequently likes to get take away from.... Geppetto Trattoria.... and I think she mentioned Bolognese once....as least I think so....she did...she did. Once I arrived at the restaurant I ordered Bolognese....but I wanted to order more for her....perhaps she could bring it for lunch or she wouldn’t have to cook dinner the next few days....but I hadn’t an idea what she liked other than Bolognese. 

Fucken hell.

In addition to her favorite meal I ordered two additional entrees, two salads and every dessert on the menu. The food took a while to prepare...I waited in my car and used it for useful thinking time. What would I say....I only assumed she was at home....what if she had someone else there. I scoffed, of course she wouldn’t do that to me. A slight fear crept in....she had no reason to be loyal to me. I felt my lips twitch once again at the thought of someone else touching her....taking what’s mine. 

Once the takeaway was ready and paid for, I continued my drive to her home. Once I pulled up to her house...I saw her car in the driveway and some of the lights on. I didn’t know if I was relieved or not that she was home. This is ridiculous I thought. I grabbed all the take away bags , proceed to her front door and confidently rang her door bell. 

Only a moment after she opened the door....my lips parted at the sight of her....she took my breathe away for a moment....I had never seen her dressed in anything except her correction’s uniform. Her hair was down and out of the bun from the day’s work...beautiful long wavy brown tresses falling passed her shoulders....she was wearing a blue oversized sweater...short in the front, long in the back...black leggings which were so tight....I wondered how she got them on or more importantly I wondered if I’d be able to remove them later....I noticed she had wine in hand....unfortunately I was certain it was Pinot. The blue sweater highlighted her blue eyes even more....her striking blue eyes....the same blue eyes I imagine when I please myself alone in my bed or shower....her face and blue eyes are always the thing that pushes me over the edge when I need a release.....I licked my lips and realized I hasn’t said a word....nor did she. The second thing I noticed she didn’t seem impressed that I was at her doorstep....her face was cold...serious....perhaps I’m teaching her too much....too well. She finally spoke in an cold tone. 

“What do you want ?”

I wasn’t sure if I was amused or annoyed by her question but I knew I had to try a different and unfamiliar approach. 

“You stormed off after your little tantrum in my office”. 

Fucken hell. I shouldn’t have said that. I can’t help it. 

She had made a pretend thinking face when she was being sarcastic....then pouted her full pink lips like she often does when she’s upset. She answered me. 

“My....tantrum?....mmmm what was it you asked me....ah yes...is this a joke. I’m not in the mood to be insulted by you anymore, Joan” 

“I’m not here to insult you, Vera” 

I wanted to add....I’m hear to tell you, you’ve woken something in me I didn’t even know was there. You make me feel things I am not familiar with. You make me feel alive....and that I don’t have to hang me head in pain missing my dead over year after year. I’m standing at your fucking doorstop like a puppy hoping you’ll invite me inside. But I said nothing of the sort. I stead, I held up the bags of take away to her view. 

“I’m not hungry” she simply stated. 

I knew she was lying. We both missed lunch because I ordered a cell toss late morning. One of the imbeciles violated government property with an extremely offensive graffiti display at my expense. We needed all hands on deck and we missed lunch. She didn’t complain. She never does. 

Her stern and coldness was new to me...I found it attractive but in this moment she’s testing me and I’m impatient . I ran my tongue over the inside of my top lip to refrain myself from saying something sarcastic. 

“Fine, I’m here to appease your demands from earlier.....”. 

I stopped talking and I tried again. I’m not good at this. 

“Vera, I’m here to respond to things you said to me this evening”

She rolled her eyes, stepped aside and sarcastically waved her hand towards the inside of her home. This is the part where I’d become aggressive, correct her behavior and how she proceeds to communicate with me. I inhaled sharply, keeping in mind why I’m here. I stepped inside her home. I knew my way around her body very well. But I didn’t know my way around her home. I stood there, waiting for her to lead the way.....she closed the door....she said nothing as she started to walk towards the kitchen I assumed. I knew my little mouse wouldn’t make this easy. Maybe I deserved it, maybe I didn’t deserve her. 

I hope she disagrees.


End file.
